An Uncertain Life
Growing Up Gay and Southern Baptist
By Charles Michael Brill
Discover "An Uncertain Life"
An Uncertain Life takes us on one young man's remarkable journey from self-loathing to acceptance of who God created him to be. Raised in the South during the Civil Rights era, he wanted nothing more than to please God. As a child he faced difficult challenges that left him distressed, contributing to his growing sense of worthlessness because who he was wasn't pleasing to God, he believed. As he came to know of God's love for him, he began a long journey of self-discovery and acceptance. It that process he also realized God's Love was for all. And that we are to love our neighbors, especially those marginalized by our society, as Jesus taught us.
Praise for "An Uncertain Life"
Michael Brill's An Uncertain Life is an intimate memoir of coming out. Reading the book felt like being invited to listen to a favorite uncle tell a story that included edge of the seat, heart rending, private tales, ultimately leading to redemption. From the ‘dark night' to the ecstasy of freedom in fully owning who he is, the book takes the reader on a journey of emergence, much like watching an ugly caterpillar evolving into a beautiful butterfly. Through a very personal and intimate lens, Michael Brill has documented a turning point in the life of the Southern Baptist Convention and her
institutions while telling his personal struggle of coming out as gay. It is his Damascene journey toward full acceptance of himself as a beloved child of God.
-Jonathan Rudy, PeaceBuilding
Global Senior Consultant, and author,
Sand In My Shoes.
Michael Brill’s autobiographical novel, An Uncertain Life: Growing Up Gay and Southern Baptist, is an amazing literary work of art that weaves together the dangers of homophobia in a White Supremacist culture with the tragic, and at times humorous, journey to find meaning and joy in life.
Brill’s narrative beautifully illustrates life as a gay man in a post Jim Crow South, and his struggles of seeking acceptance and love in a Southern Baptist community. Most importantly, An Uncertain Life provides hope for a new generation of people caught off-guard by the rise of a new oppressive MAGA culture and power structure.
This is a must-read, because history, in many ways, is repeating itself.
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-Guillermo Márquez-Sterling
Author of Killing the Butterfly
We’ve all met this guy; a happy, popular, conservative Southern Baptist, full of charm and funny stories. Mike didn’t “come out of the closet,” as much as he came kicking and dragging his feet, hanging desperately on to one more sweet girlfriend. But in this book, we get to hear the inside story, not just of the struggle, but of the careful step-by-step study of Scripture, seeking of counsel, and examination of his own heart. I’ve known Mike for years. If you like a good story, or need your own path through the wilderness, you don’t want to miss Mike Brill’s book.
-Marsha Stevens-Pino, author, professional Christian Musician and song writer.
This book is as poignant as it is timely! I spent my afternoon reading An Uncertain Life. Some parts left me teary-eyed like “Fresh-man.” It leads me to hope that this work will help others not to accept blame for actions of others. I found the book fascinating and terrifying! It’s spooky that aspects of the Civil Rights Movement described, remind me of the terrible things happening now and the ideology/theology behind them.
-Natalia Marquez-Sterling, OTD, OTR/L, ally of the LGBTQ+ community and young adult
Mike Brill’s “An Uncertain Life: Growing Up Gay and Southern Baptist,” is a
moving, authentic memoir that is so very familiar, and so uniquely told.
Mike’s journey growing up poor, southern, fundamentalist and gay is at
times harrowing, poignant and triumphant. He reveals tender family
secrets, and tales of bullying and abuse that make one wonder how he
survived.
Mike contextualizes his story in the historical and political events that have
shaped many decades. He comes out of fundamentalism and into a new
intellectual and social awareness that encompasses race, gender and
class. He gives credit to many influential teachers and writers, some well-
meaning but flawed therapists; and finally, to “God and grace,” for saving
him, and preparing him for a whole life, full of love and church and
friendship. His story is the story of our community, or overcoming, of
becoming awake to God and grace.
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-Rev. Dr. Nancy Wilson
Michael Brill’s story is as raw as it is redemptive. With honesty and courage, he invites us into the painful, complicated journey of growing up gay in a Southern Baptist world—and the grace-filled path of becoming whole. An Uncertain Life is more than one man’s memoir; it is a beacon of hope for anyone who has wrestled with faith, identity, and belonging. I was moved by its candor, inspired by its resilience, and grateful for its witness.
- Eric Elnes, author, Gifts of the Dark Wood